Can't... disconnect... and [something else I forgot]

A song completely pervasive to my head recently has been "Miss Independent" by Ne-Yo. What's the song like? In short, Ne-Yo fails again. This is yet another one of his songs that's catchy, but completely fails to meet its potential, with a bridge and a chorus that don't really go anywhere, and yet another instrumental track produced by StarGate, a Norwegian pair that manages to sound the same all the time. You know them from managing to release three huge similar-sounding hits in the USA in way too short of a span of time, considering how obvious it was that they produced the tracks: "Irreplaceable" by Beyoncé, "Tattoo" by Jordin Sparks, and "With You" by Chris Brown. All masterpieces of mediocrity. That trifecta is my go-to example for how to characterize American music nowadays and explain why I'm disappointed in it.

And yet, I constantly go back to Ms. Independent in my head. She's just there; I don't know. And you know, sometimes it's those tracks I'm really disappointed in at first that I come to really cherish. This might be one of them. But listening to it on Youtube with headphones right now, I'm still a little disappointed. Maybe--maybe I turn it into something else entirely in my head, and that's what I enjoy hearing. Or maybe the repetition of the relatively ho-hum melodies is extremely satisfying for some reason, extremely relaxing? I don't know. Maybe I'm just addicted to going nowhere, since this song repeats and goes nowhere...

Let's speak about going nowhere.

In a lot of ways, I have become completely disconnected from the world I knew; that is, America. I've realized how much more I care about things like the principles of the American Revolution and the original Constitution of the United States than do people like, for instance, our President and the Congress which surrended its powers to him. I speak to my friends and family at home at most once a week, if once every two. In reality, those friends and family are separated too: Some are in Massachusetts, back where I was from (wow, "was from"; I'm still from there, but you'd use the past tense for this in Japanese, and in fact it's gone to this reality in my head, perhaps), but the rest are separated all over the country, and let's not forget about Canada too. They're in Missouri, Oklahoma (actually, a couple of my aunts and one of my uncles went with my grandmother to visit my uncle down there this week), British Columbia, New York, North Carolina, and Western Massachusetts might as well be considered a separate state altogether. But if we gauge the potential for feeling separated from one's friends and family by the distance separated, and we call that a sort of potential energy, well, it shows that the amount of potential energy I have means I better not fall. Ahh, if
you're not much for physics you won't get that.

But there's a part of me that wants to disconnect and see what happens. I mean, that's what studying abroad is all about, right?

I don't think I've done that yet. I've gone back to frisbee, I've hardly hung out with Japanese people I know, and I've gone back to fearing my next midterm, even though it doesn't affect my GPA. And I've gone back to listening to American music. Headphones can't make the effect than a car stereo can make on your mind. But yeah, I'm back to American substitutes, just like some people go to sugar-free things that should never have ever been sugar-free.

The amount of energy I (don't, as you'd say in French) have is rather low. I don't know why biking takes so much out of me. Also, either my hamstring or my hip flexor is just waiting for an opportunity to go bust on me, and I'm really scared of what would happen if it does. There have been a few times at frisbee where I've feared turning on my right leg because of what it could do to whatever the hell part it is up there that isn't doing so great. And yes, I will admit I haven't the slightest clue about anatomy, so the terminology I just used might have been a little out of place. Well, picture whatever the correct thing is being out of place. There you go.

At least "Here I Am" by Rick Ross has been a relatively adequate song lately to groove to and to reinvent in my mind. Every superwoman needs a superman-- here I am!!! Even though Rick rhymes "financial aid" with "financial aid" and "mom" with "mom," it's still a great song, and Nelly helps it out a lot. Hmm, the scary thing about listening to headphones is not hearing your host family when they're calling for you and being surprised when they open the door; that'd be an oops. Hasn't happened.

We went to Osaka today to see this Sky Tower thing and Shinsaibashi, which was absolutely amazing. They had a haircut place there for only 1000 yen!! That's amazing in this country! But by 7:00 I was so tired I could not function. I went somewhat　バナナ (banana) in my head for the remainder of the trip, so I was very anti-me and felt bad for that. I needed either dinner or an intense sugar overdose. Actually, it's the sugar that I really need to intake much more than I currently do. And fruits. Fruits.

I saw this shirt a month and a half ago that said this:
WEEKEND PASSION
SELECT THE FRUIT
Yeah, I need that kind of fruit too.